Monday, March 16, 2009
On the Sidelines
I have been noticing something about me lately that is interesting. I watch life, but I don't really participate. I've had opportunities to shoot guns, ride motorcycles, ride horses, scramble on rocks and many other things. I don't join in, I watch. Usually I take pictures too, so I'm not doing nothing, but I'm not participating. Truthfully, I don't want to join in. I am content to sit back and watch. Is that bad? I used to do all those things, but not now. I really don't want to shoot the gun, ride the motorcycle, ride the horse (which is amazing that I don't want to - I've always loved to ride horses!) or climb all over the rocks. I guess the only part of this that makes me feel like I should WANT to participate is just that whole feeling of "who am I?" I USED to be that person, now I'm not. Seems like all I do is kid, house, wife stuff. Will this be a problem in 20 years and all my kids are grown and I won't know who I am? My hobbies used to be reading, playing the piano, running, hiking ... I still read. Play the piano rarely. Run - ha ha ha. Should I be even thinking about this or should I just be content with being content. :-)
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3 comments:
I'm the same way, standing by with a baby on my hip, I thought it just meant I was getting old. I'm sure when something really good comes along, something worth rallying for and finding someone to hold the kid for us, we will rise to the occasion.
I think your so busy being mom and making sure the kids are having fun you forget about doing things yourself. I find myself sometimes doing this. I say jump back in and join them. You may have fun. I usually do, except when it came to skiing!
Wow, this is so me! I've decided it comes down to me not wanting to waste brain cells and energy doing things anymore, you know? Maybe when everyone is grown up and off on their own, I'll gain some of the energy back that I used to have . . . or probably not, LOL. At least then I won't have the constant threat of massive piles of laundry hanging over my head, waiting to sap me of my strength!
I don't feel like I have many hobbies anymore either. I blog and scrapbook (although only sporadicly), and I read some now and then. That's probably why my kids said in that interview that the thing I'm good at is having babies! That's what they see me doing! : )
I'm trying to muster up the energy to be bothered by all this but I'm finding I just can't . . . LOL!
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