WHINE

I'm feeling a bit over-sensitive this morning, didn't get enough sleep and Eric left town.  My mood is not good.  If you don't want to hear my complaints, stop reading now.  If you can offer a laugh or word of encouragement, read on.  :-)

All week, I had it in my head that Eric was flying out at noon today.  So I had my "plan" for the morning in place.  We were going to go for a run, he would help me get everyone ready for church, I would leave and he would still be home.  Last night, around 9:30, he told me his flight was leaving at 9:30 this morning.  The difference in time with him is 1-1/2 hours.  That's all.  But for some reason, it threw me.  Completely threw me.  I mean, I can handle 4 days of him being gone, getting ready for a trip without him here, but tell me he's leaving earlier than I anticipated and I was in tears.  What is wrong with me???  Seriously?  I still feel like crying over this - and he's not here!!!  So get OVER it already.  For some reason I can't this time.

Josiah woke up at 2:00 a.m. with a bad dream.  Which means I was up for about an hour last night.  Then our favorite neighbor (NOT) was yelling at someone at 5:30 this morning ... outside.  Yep, outside.  She has a habit of either fighting on her back deck or yelling out her window at all hours of the night.  I'm not feeling very friendly to her right now.  Add that to the fact that I just noticed (as I was putting my shirt on) that her boyfriend was outside my window with a child, actually in my yard.  Nice.  Thanks.

Rebekah looked at me a little bit ago and asked, "is that what you're wearing to church?"  GRRR.  Sigh.  Yes, yes it is.  She was hoping I would wear a skirt I had laid out.  But it didn't fit.  Which leads me to another complaint for this morning.  NONE of my clothes seem to be fitting these days.  I am heavier than ever.  And I've been running regularly for the past 3 weeks, watching what I eat ...  My sister tries to tell me it's muscle weight that I'm gaining, but I just can't buy it.  And, NO, I'm not pregnant, nor am I pms'ing - despite what I sound like today!!!

One other thing.  I have a friend who used to read this blog all the time.  Now she doesn't at all, as far as I can tell.  I sent her an e-mail a week ago, no reply.  Is she mad at me?  Just stinking busy?  Pathetic that my relationships are completely over the computer these days, it seems.  Granted, we don't live anywhere close to each other, but still.  I was starting to wonder how you can fight with someone you never speak to, never see, and your entire relationship is over the computer.  I know it's plausible, but still.  And if we're fighting, would I know it?  Or, is she just busy (I know she is crazy busy right now) and hasn't had time?

See, over sensitive.  Grumpy.  Grouchy.  Whiny.  Too many little nit-picky stupid things going on.  OH, wait.  One more.  I decided to take a trip to Dallas to see my parents.  It is truly the only place I can go and get any sort of a break from responsibility.  My parents are amazingly helpful.  Love my kids.  Take care of us.  But it's stinking hot there.  I keep questioning my sanity on taking this trip.  And Eric is going with us, but has to fly home to take a work trip.  Which means I get to drive 14 hours with the kids and no other adults.  I will stop half way for the night, but still...

All right.  Time to head out for church.  Hopefully I can spend the next couple hours getting my attitude fixed!  :-)

A Letter to My Brother

Dear C,

I have a confession to make to you.  Lately, while watching Seth ride his bike, I catch myself cursing your name under my breath.  Now, I am fully aware that you haven't taught him how to be just like you, he comes by it genetically, apparently.  How else would he know to try and stand on his bike seat while riding down the road?  Or ride with both hands in the air?  Or try to pop wheelies?  How else would he know that going over jumps is the coolest thing on earth?

So, while I do know you haven't taught him these things, somehow, when he does them and scares his momma, I curse your name.  Sorry about that.

I was reading a book about Merlin the other day.  In the book, Merlin's power was given to someone else and he lost all of his.  I do hope you don't give your power to Seth, but just share it with him.  But, I will tell you, every time he wrecks and if we ever end up in the emergency room over his likeness to you, I will be cursing your name.

Oh, and you might as well start looking for a tiny motorcycle that a 6 year old can ride.  Because when we visit, he's going to want to ride one.  Just like you.

Love,
Your adoring, yet irritated sister,
Tonya

Fat, Flabby and (almost) Forty

Sigh.  BIG sigh.  I really really cannot stand the whole aging process.  I want to feel and look like I'm young again!  Strong muscles, toned body, energy, health, vigor.  Now I have flabby muscles, fat body, no energy, sickness and exhaustion.  How in the world can you fix this problem??

In light of this problem, I'm hoping to get in shape.  I've started running again.  Which makes me very upset.  I used to run all the time.  Ran 5K's once a month.  My fastest 5K was about 23-1/2 minutes.  Not too shabby!  Now I'd be happy to be able to RUN 2 miles and not have to stop and walk.  Part of the problem is that we live at 7000 feet elevation.  The whole time I'm trying to run I'm sucking wind.  Sigh.

Anyone out there with some hope for me?  Encouragement?  I want to lose at least 10 pounds, 15 wouldn't be bad.  I know I'll never look like I did at 16, but I would settle for having more energy, not getting sick so easily and not cringing when I see my belly flab.  :-)

Sigh.