What's the Solution??

Apparently my post yesterday generated a bit of interest. The feelings of pressure are not felt by only me, or only homeschool moms, or only women. We ALL feel pressure in our lives. So what do we do?

First, let me give you a bit more background to yesterday. Before I wrote that post, I had yelled at my kids. Yes, I know, everyone has yelled at their kids. But, for me, it is the WORST thing I can EVER do. I was thinking of I Corinthians 13 yesterday - you know, the passage about love. It says, "If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love I am a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal..." It goes on to say basically that we can have all these "gifts", but without love they are nothing. So, my version yesterday was, "If I educate my kids and they go to Harvard, but have not love, the education is worthless. If I have a clean house, but have not love, the clean house is dirty. If I only give my kids healthy foods, but have not love, I am still making them sick." Get the point? So if I'm yelling at my kids to get the house cleaned? Seriously? What is my priority!!! My relationship with these children is my priority. Recognizing that they see Christ in me, so if I yell at them, what do they think of Him? For me, yelling at my kids ruins my entire day.

Second, all the things I feel pressure to do are good things. I want a good marriage! I want to educate my children well! I want to be in shape! I want to spend time with the Lord! I want to have a clean house! I want to feed my family healthy foods! None of these things are bad! Some of them are not optional. :-) So how do we do it all? What can we give up?

God says He won't give us more than we can handle. That He will provide for all of our needs. That He will give to us when we ask. All of that does not negate that there are only so many hours in my day. Only so much of me to go around. So, again, how do we do it all?

I think part of the key is focusing on the most important. Training our children to help us. But we also need to be helping each other out. We need to be recognizing that ALL of us need help, in some way. We need to start paying attention to our friends, neighbors, family and offering to help. We can make extra for supper and offer it. We can watch each others kids at times. We can help clean a house. We can just spend time with each other, listening, sharing, encouraging.

Well, that's all I can think of right now and all I have time for. David needs help drawing a sloth. :-) Oh, fun. Art. :-)

A Foul Mood

Today I'm in a real snit. I just thought I would share. I mean, we always post such nice things about ourselves and our families. Don't you all want to know the darker side? The reality that goes on in my crazy brain.

You have been forewarned. Foul mood. Honesty. Oh, and if you comment, tell me I make you laugh. Don't tell me how to fix myself or my circumstances. I'm a woman. I don't want a fix. I want to VENT.

Eric's out of town. That time of the month. I stayed up WAY too late the other night. Just giving you some background. Oh, and the house is a mess. My kids are normal (which means naughty sometimes).

I am so sick of the amount of pressure that is put on women today. Particularly homeschooling mothers, but I think the pressure is there for all of us.

Let's start with food. We should make healthy meals for our families (for me that's 3 times a day every single day, plus snacks). And we're supposed to do that without spending too much money. Fast food isn't good for you or your kids, so you should not do that. Restaurants are too expensive, so skip that too. Cereal isn't healthy. Granola bars have too much sugar (just make your own). Regular milk is full of antibiotics and hormones, so you should spend $5-6 per gallon, oh, but don't spend TOO much money. Oh, and we're supposed to stay thin and trim in all of this too, so don't eat too many cookies (but you should make them for your kids, right - as long as they are healthy and have some alternative sugar, whole wheat flour, coconut oil ...).

Now education. Homeschooled kids are all WAY smart. Right? I mean, they test above average, they make it to Harvard easily. They are always WAY ahead of their peers. PRESSURE people. I want to tell people to SHUT UP sometimes when they mention how their kid is 2 grades ahead in math. SO WHAT. BRAGGART. My kid is behind in math. I could care less about them getting into Harvard. As for standardized testing - hate it. And Latin - why? What happened to it being a HUGE deal if people could write their names and read a little bit? Seriously? Now I'm supposed to have my kids memorize the entire history timeline, make sure they speak Greek and Latin in elementary school, have them play an instrument amazingly well (oh, and since I play the piano I should be the one teaching them too - saves money!), know how science fits into history, do hands on projects ... Shut up.

And how about our houses? Oh, I should want my house to be a welcoming place, a frilly, smelly, beautiful home where other people come in and can relax (or gag). We should decorate and keep them neat and clean at all times. And how is this possible with kids? Organized? Clean? Decorated? Am I ever allowed to sleep?

Spiritual development. First I'm supposed to maintain a quiet time with the Lord every day. If this means I have to get up at 5 a.m. to spend that time before the kids wake up I should. Then I'm supposed to make sure my kids know the Bible in and out. Apologetics, creation, Bible memorization, chatechism ... AND I'm supposed to train them using the right words and the right methods so that they will not turn into axe murderers. PLUS I'm supposed to do everything with a quiet and gentle spirit. I should never yell at my children. I'm setting the example for them here. So if they do turn into axe murderers, you will know it is my fault.

Marriage. On top of all this, I should make sure that I am still attractive to my spouse. Which means I should fit in some time for exercise, showers, keeping my hair nice, putting on makeup (buying it, knowing what to buy...). Oh! And dressing nicely for him too. Which means I should purchase nice clothes, but remember - don't spend too much money! And I should spend time with him, make him nice meals, meet his needs when he wants ...

You do know that in some countries they are considered good mothers if they feed their children - anything. Education? Clean house? They are worried about basic survival. Here we have the luxury to not have to worry about basic survival so we worry about a thousand other things.

So the next time you blog or post on Facebook about how wonderful your life is or about how you're sitting with your cup of tea/coffee and your children are contentedly sitting around you, gazing up at you as if you are the Madonna, excuse me if I tell you to SHUT UP.

***I want to add that this pressure is not from one place. My husband does NOT pressure me to be perfect in all these areas. The pressure comes from all over the place!!

Sweet

Our Little Bit is such a sweetie. She definitely is a toddler - doesn't like being told "no" at all. But most of the time she is happy. She gets in to everything! Runs all over the house, climbs all she can find, loves to be the center of attention, loves people ... So cute.

About 3 last night (yep, middle of the night) she woke up crying. I headed to her room to get her. As soon as she heard me (I usually start saying "shh" as I walk down the hall), she got quiet. When I walked in her room, she did a quick lap around her crib and dove to lay down - all with a smile on her face. She popped her head up to see me and gave me a huge smile and reached for me. I picked her up and as we walked out of the room, she was waving and saying "bye" to Anne (they share a room). SO cute! I was smiling and loving every second of this - at 3 a.m. :-)

On a different note, I really can NOT stand military recalls (for those not military, you get a phone call and they are supposed to call people on the list - that's as much as I *get* this thing). At 5:40 this morning, our phone rang. Before Eric could get to the phone the answering machine picked up. This booming voice comes over the answering machine "Col D this is Col S ..." ARGH. I wanted to scream! NOT smiling over that. Still made at Col S - I know it isn't his fault, but I have to send my frustration towards him today! :-)

Poop

Today, my kids made "Scat Cookies" or "Coprophagy Cookies". Coprophagia is when an animal eats it's own poop. Nice. We have a book, Nature's Yucky, that my kids LOVE. At the end of the book there is a recipe for making your own Scat Cookies - including how to shape them to look like certain animal's scat. I'm pretty sure my kids have never enjoyed school so much. The comments! Gross and hilarious at the same time.

"The poop is too big, it won't cook all the way through." "That's ok, it will be squishy like poop!"

"Mom! I just made human poop!"

"Stop eating your poop."

You can imagine how many more great things were said. They now want to have a Disgusting Food Restaurant. Pee Lemonade, Chocolate Pudding Diarrhea ... They're still trying to come up with an idea for vomit.

And just think, I covered science, vocabulary and home ec today!

**Oh, and if you don't own this book yet, you have to buy it. I think we'll be getting their 2nd one for Christmas.

Life is Hard!

I sent this in an e-mail to a friend today and thought maybe I could ask for ideas and prayers from more people.

I'm in need of encouragement this week. Anne is being ... oh ... so ... grumpy? Defiant? Attitudeish? :-) We're on week 2 of her being just naughty. She pouts, stomps, slams her door, yells at the other kids, tells me "NO", and then, when she's not doing all that, she does little things that are VERY annoying - makes mouth noises, taps, kicks, picks at things. And she's destructive when she's in these moods - tosses things off chairs, rips paper up ... Are you getting the picture? EXHAUSTING. Yes, I'm spanking her. Yes, she's getting sent to her bed. Yes, I'm praying for her and with her. Yes, I'm loving her and holding her. It never feels like it's enough though. My patience wears thin. I lose my temper. I lose control of my tongue. We think we've "reached" her - have some hours of peace, harmony, love and then it starts all over again the next day.

Today I told Eric I wished I were 20 again. :-) He was sweet and hugged me.

So there you have the reality of my life at times. Any suggestions? Please pray for her and for us!!!

***Additional info: I figured diet would be mentioned. It is something I should check - allergies to foods? Although I cannot imagine what it could be. My cousin mentioned a possibility for diabetes - again, something I could get checked.

All that to say I don't think that is it. After I posted this, we had a major issue later in the day. She was outside, got in an argument with Dawn. Dawn came in, "accidentally" locked the sliding glass door. Anne came to the door (I was sitting within 15 feet of the door, so I saw this), tried the door and immediately started pounding on the door. I got up to open the door and before I could even get there, she had thrown a large rock into the door. Praise God the door didn't break. I lost my cool, sent her to her room and called Eric. He said extra chores. I took her outside and had her do some extra weeding. I sat out there with her. While she was weeding, she said "you don't love me. You think I'm a pile of trash." This is the second time she's said something along that line in the last week. I've always known she *feels* very deeply and feels like she is unlovable. I obviously told her how much we do love her and how we show it. Later in the day she took a long nap.

So, fatigue? Food? Allergies? Diabetes? Just feels unloved so behaves like she is unlovable? Feels unlovable so she behaves horribly? We are praying extra hard about this. Thanks for praying with us, encouraging me and offering ideas!