I've had a few questions about why I don't blog much or when am I going to blog again. I don't really have a good answer. Although I have been dealing with a whole lot of complete burnout for a while and just don't feel like I have anything positive to blog about. I thought maybe I could blog about burnout!!!
Burnout. My body, mind and spirit are exhausted. I have done a very poor job of renewing myself in any way for many many years. And it has caught up. I have no desire to homeschool, to clean house, to talk to people, to make meals, to do anything. I want to be left alone. Please don't ask questions, please don't ask me to help you with something, please don't ask me how school is going, please don't even ask me how I'm doing. I don't know. I still do manage to get some school work done with the little ones (the older girls do their work on their own). I still manage to put food on the table, get laundry done, keep the house semi-clean. But my heart isn't in it. I'm going through the motions, sticking with the routine somewhat and getting stuff done. But my attitude stinks. I'm grumbling and complaining internally. I'm discontent.
I had this thought that I would fix all this. I would work out and get in shape (which I actually have been losing weight and even working out far more than I used to, but I have to force myself to work out). I would read my Bible and pray more. I would ... Whatever. It hasn't been working. I'm still worn out, still have a bad attitude. Still don't feel like functioning.
I recognize that a lot of this has to be a spiritual issue. And I am praying lots. But I still can't get out from under my funk. Running away and becoming a hermit really isn't an option here!
I also recognize there are probably some physical issues going on. (Hormonal) I've been exercising, losing weight, taking supplements, cleansing my body, eating healthier. Still not helping.
At this point I feel even more tired, frustrated, exhausted and kind of without hope.
Don't lecture me. Just being real.
