Since I haven't blogged much in the past year, people who follow this blog (again, all 2 of you), may not know that Seth was diagnosed with dyslexia last year. He was 8 at the time, still not reading, still writing in all capital letters and obviously just not "getting it" when it came to reading. I took him to a wonderful lady who does brain training with a twist (she uses a sparker and sparks accupressure points - this probably makes no sense to anyone!). If you're interested, you can find her at Brain Transformations, Becky Kennard.
Even with brain training, it has taken a while for Seth to really read WELL. He is now 9, 3rd grade and reads everything! He also has taken to spelling things nonstop (which is really cool!).
Imagine my joy this morning when he brought a small print, New King James Version of the Bible to devotions and wanted to get to read from it (his sisters look up verses and read). When he read, read VERY well, a verse, I cried.
This is one of those moments as a homeschool mom where I feel like we just might succeed!!! Thank You God for putting Becky in our lives and giving me the patience to wait for Seth to read!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Kid's Questions
I was in the kitchen with Eric and Seth. Seth says, "How does a baby get in your stomach?" I quickly rinsed my hands and said, "Eric, Seth wants to know how a baby gets in your stomach. I have to finish cleaning my room." And I quickly exited the room. I'm a total wimp. Plus, it's the Dad's job to teach his boys, right? Right?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sacrifice or Losing My Selfishness?
When I first got married, I remember realizing just how incredibly selfish I was. It was hard to give up so much of my space and time and my "rights" for someone else. After a couple of years, I felt pretty good about how I had overcome being so selfish. Then I had my first child. Yikes! I was right back to realizing how incredibly selfish I was! I hadn't conquered it, I had only conquered some things.
With having a child, comes a lot of sacrifice. Here is a list of things I feel I've given up as a homeschooling mom of many: sleep, exercise, coherent sentences, personal hygiene, reading, playing the piano, exercise, dressing with some sense of style (I have never been considered stylish!), lunch with friends, dates with my husband, weekends away, quiet, healthy eating ... This list could go on all day and I'm sure you can think of many to add!
I guess I've felt that I've pretty much given up everything! Now, some of these things I've only temporarily given up. Most nights I get a full night of sleep and I typically get to shower on a regular basis. I've had periods of time where I've been able to exercise regularly, not currently happening right now, but it will again.
Healthy eating was of upmost importance to me many years ago. When Eric and I were dating, I was a vegetarian. I did a ton of research on healthy eating and tried very hard to eat well. When Abigail was born, I didn't let her eat meat for 2 years. Sugar was rare in her diet. Fast forward 14+ years. Josiah is a sugar-aholic. He begs for candy all day. I typically let him have one piece a day. My kids eat plenty of junk food. We still rarely eat at fast food restaurants and I make most meals from scratch. But there are Oreos in the cupboard and possibly chicken nuggets in the freezer. I had managed to not eat beef and pork for many many years, but when we moved here I just didn't have the energy. We were frequently invited to people's houses for supper (which is wonderful!!!!!) and I've always eaten what is served. There went any attempts at not eating beef or pork. I kept the serving sizes small, but still ate. I also have a cousin here in Colorado who owns a butcher shop with her husband. My parents get a cow once or twice a year from there and we all split the meat. So I have local beef to eat or store bought chicken. Eating more beef. Last week, for the first time in close to 20 years, I ate a hamburger for supper. Eric had grilled and when we sat down to eat I realized I had forgotten to pull out a veggie burger for myself. I could either let Eric sit down and eat with us or have him grill my veggie burger. I let him eat. My heart sunk, I was sad, but I ate.
I'd like to think that was the very last thing I will have to give up. It seems like there really is nothing that is "mine" left. But I have a feeling I still haven't fully conquered being selfish and God isn't finished working on me in that area.
With having a child, comes a lot of sacrifice. Here is a list of things I feel I've given up as a homeschooling mom of many: sleep, exercise, coherent sentences, personal hygiene, reading, playing the piano, exercise, dressing with some sense of style (I have never been considered stylish!), lunch with friends, dates with my husband, weekends away, quiet, healthy eating ... This list could go on all day and I'm sure you can think of many to add!
I guess I've felt that I've pretty much given up everything! Now, some of these things I've only temporarily given up. Most nights I get a full night of sleep and I typically get to shower on a regular basis. I've had periods of time where I've been able to exercise regularly, not currently happening right now, but it will again.
Healthy eating was of upmost importance to me many years ago. When Eric and I were dating, I was a vegetarian. I did a ton of research on healthy eating and tried very hard to eat well. When Abigail was born, I didn't let her eat meat for 2 years. Sugar was rare in her diet. Fast forward 14+ years. Josiah is a sugar-aholic. He begs for candy all day. I typically let him have one piece a day. My kids eat plenty of junk food. We still rarely eat at fast food restaurants and I make most meals from scratch. But there are Oreos in the cupboard and possibly chicken nuggets in the freezer. I had managed to not eat beef and pork for many many years, but when we moved here I just didn't have the energy. We were frequently invited to people's houses for supper (which is wonderful!!!!!) and I've always eaten what is served. There went any attempts at not eating beef or pork. I kept the serving sizes small, but still ate. I also have a cousin here in Colorado who owns a butcher shop with her husband. My parents get a cow once or twice a year from there and we all split the meat. So I have local beef to eat or store bought chicken. Eating more beef. Last week, for the first time in close to 20 years, I ate a hamburger for supper. Eric had grilled and when we sat down to eat I realized I had forgotten to pull out a veggie burger for myself. I could either let Eric sit down and eat with us or have him grill my veggie burger. I let him eat. My heart sunk, I was sad, but I ate.
I'd like to think that was the very last thing I will have to give up. It seems like there really is nothing that is "mine" left. But I have a feeling I still haven't fully conquered being selfish and God isn't finished working on me in that area.
Getting back on track
Homeschooling has been slightly scattered this year so far. I didn't set a "schedule" up for myself and have been just kind of winging it. I don't ever make a strict schedule, but more of a guideline for what should happen next each day. I'm trying to get things a little less scattered, so I'm trying to come up with things to do to make that happen.
Step 1 - start doing school in the basement again (where all the school books are supposed to be located, less distractions for me - kitchen, laundry, computer)
That's as far as I've gotten!!! I'll let you know if I ever conquer Step 1 and figure out Step 2. Any suggestions?
***After this morning, I am remembering why school became so scattered to begin with. I cannot stand trying to read aloud to my children while being interrupted numerous times, having to re-read a sentence more than once, breaking up fights in the middle of reading, and getting up to cart a repeat offender off to their room. All of this leads to me showing my sin nature in full. It's ugly and I don't like myself or my children at that point. I can't seem to get past these events happening while I'm trying to read to my kids. Which is why I quit trying to read to them on a regular, scheduled basis. It seems to work better when I take advantage of a moment when a certain child is occupied or a big sister is available to keep said child occupied. Having to wait for those moments makes it impossible to have a "regularly scheduled program".
Step 1 - start doing school in the basement again (where all the school books are supposed to be located, less distractions for me - kitchen, laundry, computer)
That's as far as I've gotten!!! I'll let you know if I ever conquer Step 1 and figure out Step 2. Any suggestions?
***After this morning, I am remembering why school became so scattered to begin with. I cannot stand trying to read aloud to my children while being interrupted numerous times, having to re-read a sentence more than once, breaking up fights in the middle of reading, and getting up to cart a repeat offender off to their room. All of this leads to me showing my sin nature in full. It's ugly and I don't like myself or my children at that point. I can't seem to get past these events happening while I'm trying to read to my kids. Which is why I quit trying to read to them on a regular, scheduled basis. It seems to work better when I take advantage of a moment when a certain child is occupied or a big sister is available to keep said child occupied. Having to wait for those moments makes it impossible to have a "regularly scheduled program".
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Facebook, Politics and the Holy Spirit
I've kicked myself off of Facebook until after the election. I just can't stand politics and really can't stand people telling people how to vote ON FACEBOOK. Not the correct place at all.
My cousin and friend, Melissa, quickly suggested that I blog again. Which is funny because I thought about blogging about an incident just last night. For those of you who actually read my blog when I blog (all 2 of you!), here you go!!! Please comment, because I'm going to be missing my conversations on Facebook!!!
I've been sick for a week and a half. Nothing horrific, just an ugly cold which has me completely exhausted all day long. I fell asleep earlier than normal Tuesday night. Imagine my frustration when I woke up at 11 something and was WIDE awake. Completely wide awake. Eric was flying out very early in the morning for work. I started having horrible thoughts about his plane crashing. I started planning out what in the world I would do if his plane crashed. Started imagining how the kids and I would handle life without him. I realized how very very much I need this man!!! In every single way, I need him. I had been praying about his safety, but at that point, I started begging and pleading with God to keep Eric alive for many many years. We need him. We love him. He is completely necessary to our lives.
I fell back asleep and slept fine. Woke up slightly as he left at 5:30 and then slept until almost 8 (Abigail is a dear and had already made breakfast and fed 3 of the kids, Liza was sleeping with me). I wasn't worried about Eric when I woke up, but prayed some more and went on with my day. I called Eric around 11 when I figured he had landed.
Remember something about Eric - he has flown thousands of hours, both commercial and military. He spent a year in Test Pilot School and for three years, he was a Flight Test Engineer at Edwards AFB, spending some of almost every single day in an airplane. He KNOWS flying. When I called, he told me he was so thankful to be alive and on the ground because that was THE VERY WORST flight he had ever been on. I talked to him a few times during the day and these are the things he told me: he was sure the pilot did not have control over the aircraft at one point, the wings were up and down and forward and backward, they dropped at least 200 feet causing everyone to scream, the lady next to him was crying and crossing herself in fear. He was scared.
I told Abigail about my being awake and his flight. She looked at me and said, "Mom, I woke up and I was scared about Daddy flying today." Another friend told me he had a dream that same night about Eric flying and things weren't good. Then Seth told me he had a dream that Eric's plane had crashed and it caused him to wake up sobbing and he got up at that point and walked around the house (Seth was up at 5:30 in the morning).
I'm slightly freaked out over all of it. This is the third time Eric's called to tell me he's alive and all three times it was due to an airplane issue. I can only think that the Holy Spirit woke me up and cause those dreams. I am very thankful that Eric is fine (he said he never thought he'd be thankful to be driving in LA traffic but he was yesterday!).
He's flying home today. I will be praying!
My cousin and friend, Melissa, quickly suggested that I blog again. Which is funny because I thought about blogging about an incident just last night. For those of you who actually read my blog when I blog (all 2 of you!), here you go!!! Please comment, because I'm going to be missing my conversations on Facebook!!!
I've been sick for a week and a half. Nothing horrific, just an ugly cold which has me completely exhausted all day long. I fell asleep earlier than normal Tuesday night. Imagine my frustration when I woke up at 11 something and was WIDE awake. Completely wide awake. Eric was flying out very early in the morning for work. I started having horrible thoughts about his plane crashing. I started planning out what in the world I would do if his plane crashed. Started imagining how the kids and I would handle life without him. I realized how very very much I need this man!!! In every single way, I need him. I had been praying about his safety, but at that point, I started begging and pleading with God to keep Eric alive for many many years. We need him. We love him. He is completely necessary to our lives.
I fell back asleep and slept fine. Woke up slightly as he left at 5:30 and then slept until almost 8 (Abigail is a dear and had already made breakfast and fed 3 of the kids, Liza was sleeping with me). I wasn't worried about Eric when I woke up, but prayed some more and went on with my day. I called Eric around 11 when I figured he had landed.
Remember something about Eric - he has flown thousands of hours, both commercial and military. He spent a year in Test Pilot School and for three years, he was a Flight Test Engineer at Edwards AFB, spending some of almost every single day in an airplane. He KNOWS flying. When I called, he told me he was so thankful to be alive and on the ground because that was THE VERY WORST flight he had ever been on. I talked to him a few times during the day and these are the things he told me: he was sure the pilot did not have control over the aircraft at one point, the wings were up and down and forward and backward, they dropped at least 200 feet causing everyone to scream, the lady next to him was crying and crossing herself in fear. He was scared.
I told Abigail about my being awake and his flight. She looked at me and said, "Mom, I woke up and I was scared about Daddy flying today." Another friend told me he had a dream that same night about Eric flying and things weren't good. Then Seth told me he had a dream that Eric's plane had crashed and it caused him to wake up sobbing and he got up at that point and walked around the house (Seth was up at 5:30 in the morning).
I'm slightly freaked out over all of it. This is the third time Eric's called to tell me he's alive and all three times it was due to an airplane issue. I can only think that the Holy Spirit woke me up and cause those dreams. I am very thankful that Eric is fine (he said he never thought he'd be thankful to be driving in LA traffic but he was yesterday!).
He's flying home today. I will be praying!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Burnout
I've had a few questions about why I don't blog much or when am I going to blog again. I don't really have a good answer. Although I have been dealing with a whole lot of complete burnout for a while and just don't feel like I have anything positive to blog about. I thought maybe I could blog about burnout!!!
Burnout. My body, mind and spirit are exhausted. I have done a very poor job of renewing myself in any way for many many years. And it has caught up. I have no desire to homeschool, to clean house, to talk to people, to make meals, to do anything. I want to be left alone. Please don't ask questions, please don't ask me to help you with something, please don't ask me how school is going, please don't even ask me how I'm doing. I don't know. I still do manage to get some school work done with the little ones (the older girls do their work on their own). I still manage to put food on the table, get laundry done, keep the house semi-clean. But my heart isn't in it. I'm going through the motions, sticking with the routine somewhat and getting stuff done. But my attitude stinks. I'm grumbling and complaining internally. I'm discontent.
I had this thought that I would fix all this. I would work out and get in shape (which I actually have been losing weight and even working out far more than I used to, but I have to force myself to work out). I would read my Bible and pray more. I would ... Whatever. It hasn't been working. I'm still worn out, still have a bad attitude. Still don't feel like functioning.
I recognize that a lot of this has to be a spiritual issue. And I am praying lots. But I still can't get out from under my funk. Running away and becoming a hermit really isn't an option here!
I also recognize there are probably some physical issues going on. (Hormonal) I've been exercising, losing weight, taking supplements, cleansing my body, eating healthier. Still not helping.
At this point I feel even more tired, frustrated, exhausted and kind of without hope.
Don't lecture me. Just being real.
Burnout. My body, mind and spirit are exhausted. I have done a very poor job of renewing myself in any way for many many years. And it has caught up. I have no desire to homeschool, to clean house, to talk to people, to make meals, to do anything. I want to be left alone. Please don't ask questions, please don't ask me to help you with something, please don't ask me how school is going, please don't even ask me how I'm doing. I don't know. I still do manage to get some school work done with the little ones (the older girls do their work on their own). I still manage to put food on the table, get laundry done, keep the house semi-clean. But my heart isn't in it. I'm going through the motions, sticking with the routine somewhat and getting stuff done. But my attitude stinks. I'm grumbling and complaining internally. I'm discontent.
I had this thought that I would fix all this. I would work out and get in shape (which I actually have been losing weight and even working out far more than I used to, but I have to force myself to work out). I would read my Bible and pray more. I would ... Whatever. It hasn't been working. I'm still worn out, still have a bad attitude. Still don't feel like functioning.
I recognize that a lot of this has to be a spiritual issue. And I am praying lots. But I still can't get out from under my funk. Running away and becoming a hermit really isn't an option here!
I also recognize there are probably some physical issues going on. (Hormonal) I've been exercising, losing weight, taking supplements, cleansing my body, eating healthier. Still not helping.
At this point I feel even more tired, frustrated, exhausted and kind of without hope.
Don't lecture me. Just being real.
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