Sacrifice or Losing My Selfishness?

When I first got married, I remember realizing just how incredibly selfish I was.  It was hard to give up so much of my space and time and my "rights" for someone else.  After a couple of years, I felt pretty good about how I had overcome being so selfish.  Then I had my first child.  Yikes!  I was right back to realizing how incredibly selfish I was!  I hadn't conquered it, I had only conquered some things.

With having a child, comes a lot of sacrifice.  Here is a list of things I feel I've given up as a homeschooling mom of many:  sleep, exercise, coherent sentences, personal hygiene, reading, playing the piano, exercise, dressing with some sense of style (I have never been considered stylish!), lunch with friends, dates with my husband, weekends away, quiet, healthy eating ...  This list could go on all day and I'm sure you can think of many to add!

I guess I've felt that I've pretty much given up everything!  Now, some of these things I've only temporarily given up.  Most nights I get a full night of sleep and I typically get to shower on a regular basis.  I've had periods of time where I've been able to exercise regularly, not currently happening right now, but it will again.

Healthy eating was of upmost importance to me many years ago.  When Eric and I were dating, I was a vegetarian.  I did a ton of research on healthy eating and tried very hard to eat well.  When Abigail was born, I didn't let her eat meat for 2 years.  Sugar was rare in her diet.  Fast forward 14+ years.  Josiah is a sugar-aholic.  He begs for candy all day.  I typically let him have one piece a day.  My kids eat plenty of junk food.  We still rarely eat at fast food restaurants and I make most meals from scratch.  But there are Oreos in the cupboard and possibly chicken nuggets in the freezer.  I had managed to not eat beef and pork for many many years, but when we moved here I just didn't have the energy.  We were frequently invited to people's houses for supper (which is wonderful!!!!!) and I've always eaten what is served.  There went any attempts at not eating beef or pork.  I kept the serving sizes small, but still ate.  I also have a cousin here in Colorado who owns a butcher shop with her husband.  My parents get a cow once or twice a year from there and we all split the meat.  So I have local beef to eat or store bought chicken.  Eating more beef.  Last week, for the first time in close to 20 years, I ate a hamburger for supper.  Eric had grilled and when we sat down to eat I realized I had forgotten to pull out a veggie burger for myself.  I could either let Eric sit down and eat with us or have him grill my veggie burger.  I let him eat.  My heart sunk, I was sad, but I ate.

I'd like to think that was the very last thing I will have to give up.  It seems like there really is nothing that is "mine" left.  But I have a feeling I still haven't fully conquered being selfish and God isn't finished working on me in that area.