I was reading today about the "Quiverfull" belief (mindset?). It was a discussion on a forum that I read. I, personally, have never read a huge amount by people who are "quiverfull". Truthfully, I just didn't want to hear their reasons why we should all have as many children as possible - I didn't want to feel guilt. Which, funny, actually sometimes THAT made me feel guilty. I was unwilling to even think about it. I, supposedly, prevent pregnancy and am ok with that. :-) That could be a subject of a whole different post.
So, what is the point of this? I was just saddened with how many people have been hurt by either buying into that mindset, or by someone who has that mindset and considers themselves "more blessed by God" (for their large number of children) or more advanced (?) in their spiritual lives. So, my rant is not about quiverfull people, but anyone who takes something that they feel God has spoken to them about and they decide to make it a mandate. How many things can we list? Dresses only; long hair only on girls; short hair only on boys; never cut your hair; no debt ever, for anything; never attend R rated movies; you MUST homeschool your children; women should NEVER work outside of the home; KJV only; mode of baptism; etc.
I'm sure I could keep going all night.
Let's talk about this, seriously. What is salvation? Ephesians 2:8-9 - For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. That's it. Simple. Faith, God's gift. NOTHING we do saves us. We are equal in God's eyes. I don't care how "spiritual" you look for following rules. It is all about God's grace. We should NEVER get arrogant and feel like we are more spiritual than someone else because of where we are in our relationship with Christ. God has called each of us to live for Him. That doesn't mean, at all, that our lives will look even slightly similar. For some of us, that means we will be single, for others, married with kids. Some of us will be missionaries, some millionaires. The point is, it is about our relationship with Christ. What is He calling you to? He doesn't care if your best friend is homeschooling her children and having as many babies as her body is able. He may not call you to that.
I will confess. I struggle so much with wanting to feel like a better Christian because of the path God has chosen for us. But, I have to remind myself - these are not MY choices. They are His. If I am able to do anything right or good, it is because of Him. Not me. It's easy for me to remember the path I was choosing for myself before I started walking with Christ. So, easy to be humbled and reminded that on my own, I will not choose wisely!
Oh, another thought I had. Apparently people feel like if having children is a blessing, then not having them is a curse. That sort of makes sense. But let's think. Do you give all your children the same gifts/blessings? If that is the case, in my family, they could all get gymnastics leotards or ballet stuff. Not very fitting for my little boys. Oh, so maybe I should give them all toys fitting for a toddler boy. I don't think that would work for my 9 year old girl! So, for my 4 year old weapons are a blessing, but for my 9 year old, sort of a curse? Right? Yes, children are a blessing. Yes, yes, yes. That should be our mindset. But that doesn't mean that we should all have a bunch of them. Another thought, isn't celibacy a gift? Maybe we should all be celibate! Again, God gives us each gifts that He knows we need. That doesn't mean that we will all get the same gifts, or should want the gifts He has chosen to give to someone else. My daughter wrote this verse out for handwriting recently and gave it to me, Matthew 6:8 Remember your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him. I love that! How often do I need to be reminded that God knows. He knows. And He gives good gifts to me. Exactly what I need. Sometimes I don't think His gifts are what I need. But they are.
Not sure I'm making a huge amount of sense here. Hopefully you get my idea.
7 comments:
Amen! Made sense to me. I needed to hear that today as I feel like I am viewed as inadequate and weak by some for not homeschooling anymore. Thanks for the reminder of why our family is doing what we are doing!
Absolutely Tonya!
What you are talking about is legalism.
Anytime the Lord speaks something to us and we make it a mandate for EVERYONE, we create legalism.
It makes people sad and it steals joy!
Did God call you to have many children, homeschool, wear dresses, have long hair, or whatever?
WONDERFUL! Be joyful about it! But don't put your convictions onto me then judge me for not living up to them.
In the Gospel there are really very few 'musts' but somehow when we become Christians we want to add to those very few 'musts' our own rules.
How sad. We are supposed to be FREE from them!
okay, I'll stop now so as not to hijack your blog. Legalism is a big pet peeve of mine! Can you tell? :o)
Hijack away, Tricia. :-)
Yes, I am in total agreement with you, Tonya. The thing is, many people look at our large family and assume that we are quiverfull, when in fact that is not true at all. I think the key is--are you open to what the Lord has for you, even if it's not what you had planned? So if you (hypothetical you of course!) are using birth control, are you open to the possibility that God might over-rule you and allow you to get pregnant?
It's funny how pregnancy is what everyone talks about, when there are really so many other areas that could be "legalized" in just the same way.
For example, we are all called to be spread the Gospel, so we should all go to a foreign country to be missionaries because that is what God has called some people to? Of course not, missionaries are needed in all walks of life and in all places, and God calls different people to different places.
And as far as big or small families go, there are legitimately areas and people to whom a big family would not or could not (logistically or financially or whatever) minister, but a small family could.
Well, I'm writing a long letter here, LOL, but this strikes a real chord with me as well, because I have also seen the hurt that this legalistic mentality has caused people in so many areas.
Also, I think that if one's motivation for having a large family is pride and a misguided thinking that this is a way to show how spiritual one are, then the Lord will probably allow that person to be humbled in some area, maybe even through those same kids!
XO. Love your rant! I'm with you all the way, girl! I think it would help us all if, rather than compare ourselves to each other and feel 'holy' or 'inadequate,' we rather compared ourselves to God. We all pretty much don't measure up. In that image, the differences between us seem so small as to be indiscernible, and the difference between us and God's holiness to be vast.
Not to lead us to wallow in our depravity, but to point our eyes towards God instead of ourselves, and to rejoice in his holy, just, graceful character for loving us and lifting us into his holy presence.
Rejoice in the Lord always! Phil 4:4
You have much deeper blog posts than I do, Tonya!
Preach it Sister!
Dawn
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