Burnout

I've posted a bit about burnout recently. A friend sent me an e-mail with some thoughts and links to homeschool blogs. Not necessarily about burnout, but just about the way we view education. Great blogs to read. I think she will post a blog about this on her blog, so I won't put her thoughts here. This was my reply to her though:

About burnout. My first thought is that burnout is primarily a result of sin. Not necessarily my sin, but just sin in the world. Sickness would be one of the main things! And getting old. :-) God says His burden is easy and His yoke is light. If that is true (and it IS), then how can we get burnt out??? Sin. For me that means I don't spend as much time nurturing my relationship with the Lord - for many reasons - no time!, no privacy!, exhaustion ... But I need to place such a higher priority on going to Him, praying without ceasing, taking every thought captive ... The taking every thought captive is a huge on for me right now. I catch myself grumbling internally "this is so hard", "why can't these kids figure out how to clean up?", "ARGH"... :-) I'm currently reading Seasons of a Mom's Heart (I think that's the name) by Sally Clarkson. She's talking about JOY and THANKFULNESS. Right now, every time I catch myself thinking the negative thoughts I'm replacing them with thanksgiving to God. Today, I was cleaning up a mess from brownies that Abigail had made. My thoughts were "oh for pity sake, can't she clean up? Can't she notice the mess?". I stopped and instead started giving thanks for Abigail - for a daughter who can bake brownies on her own, who delights in doing this for her family. I think changing those thoughts will go a long way towards helping with burnout.

I think you're right about how the lack of motivation and burnout are from what we have been taught. Not just about learning, but even on our view of children and hard work. We've been taught that children are a nuisance, an irritation. That work is something we should try to avoid. That we should be filling our lives with entertainment and relaxation and our SELVES. And this comes from the Christian culture as well. You've had a hard day? Well, you need time out with your friends. You need to get AWAY from your family. You need to go to a coffee shop, go shopping, go to a bookstore ... You and your husband need to get AWAY from your children one night every week or your marriage is going to fall apart. In order to enjoy a vacation, you need to be AWAY from your kids. Take time for your SELF. Focus on YOUR needs. Focus on what YOU enjoy. Basically it's ME ME ME and get AWAY from those annoying kids!

What does the Lord say? Children are a blessing! Jesus said, "Let the children come to ME". (KJV says suffer - Eric and I were joking that maybe people don't know that word means "allow" and instead think it means you will suffer if you let the children come to you!) Why do we spend our days trying to get away from our children? Why is the automatic assumption that if you're with your kids you're "stuck" with them? That obviously you are not enjoying your life? That it must be super bad to be in your shoes? Why is this the thinking coming from our Christian brothers and sisters? That having more than one or two kids must be HORRID?

Off on a tangent there. :-) The point is, work is to be expected. Children are a blessing. So if our children create hard work for us, be thankful. Be thankful you have children. Be thankful for the ways they DO bless your life. Stop focusing on the hard parts and choose to focus on the blessings in all this.

Besides, life is hard. Even keeping yourself well entertained is hard work. :-) I'm thankful that the Lord gave me five children so I could learn that hard work can be a blessing. My work is hard! But the eternal reward is worth it.

All right, I think I may post this to my blog. I've been severely uninspired lately, but this has been brewing in my head. Thanks for your e-mail to force me to sit down and put my thoughts into writing!

Couple extras I'll add here. First, I'm going to my kids first names here. Very few people read my blog and you pretty much all know me. It's confusing to ME to use their middle names and it's confusing to you. Also, I'm not saying that getting away is wrong or even unnecessary. It's just what are we choosing to focus on? The only true way to be refreshed is spending time with the Lord. It's great to have a date with my husband. It's great to go out with a friend. But I know that those things do not bring about a change in my heart. Only time with God can do that!