This has been a rough week. My grandmother fell on Saturday and broke her hip. Since she broke the ball of the hip off, they did a partial hip replacement on Sunday. This is actually better than trying to heal a bone. She has been up and walking and is on the rehabilitation floor at the hospital. Of course, her falling is bringing up a host of other issues with my grandparents! My grandfather is 89 and my grandma is 85. They live alone, in the middle of the Colorado plains - about 6 miles from the nearest town. So far they have been very self-sufficient. Grandpa goes down to the creek in the fall, chops up fallen down cottonwoods and uses that for their wood stove to heat their house all winter. The last couple years he has needed help, but he still wants to do and tries to do it! He is slowing down, so Grandma has been doing the majority of the work around the house (including going outside and bringing in a load of wood whenever they need some in the house).
Life has to change for them. The prognosis for a broken hip in an 85 year old woman isn't great. Again, having a hip replacement is much better, but the question remains if she will be able to go back to the way life was - and if she can, how long until she can? My parents are coming out next week to help for when she comes home. How long can they stay? Are they willing to go live with my parents in Dallas? So many questions at this point - and so many that we cannot answer until we know how well Grandma recovers.
The bigger issue at this point is my Grandpa. He is convinced that he will be able to take care of Grandma when she comes home. He is the only one who thinks this. He doesn't cook, doesn't clean and only Saturday ran their washer and dryer for the first time (that we know of). Yesterday I rode with him to the hospital and that brought up a completely different issue. He is not safe to drive here in town. I'm guessing he's fine out where they live - he knows the area and there is very little traffic. But here? I was praying for safety within 5 minutes - and we were in the Wal-Mart parking lot!
How do you tell an 89 year old man he isn't safe to drive? How do you tell a man who fought in WWII, who was the foreman for an enormous ranch, who could rope a cow, ride a horse, who was strong and capable and independent that he can't drive?
This is a rhetorical question, as I had to say something to him this morning, before he left my house. It went much better than I anticipated, but my heart is aching today. I do love my grandparents and have been thrilled to live closer to them for the last 18 months. But it is heartbreaking to watch them get older and slower and not able to do what they want to do.
Getting old stinks.
3 comments:
The brevity of it all is too much for this heart too.
Tonya,
My grandmother will be 100 in October and still lives on her own. About 5 years ago she broke the ball of her hip, too. We really thought she'd end up in an assisted care facility, but we were so wrong.
You are right, this is much better than just a break, but she will likely not ever get back to "normal". She will need life long help and should probably use a walker.
My grandmother was able to go home and still lives on her own, but she has help come to the house 5 days a week to help her bathe, clean, and cook meals. She loves her helpers and she is doing amazingly well.
Could you possibly look into help coming to your grandparents' home. My grandmother's care has been covered by whatever medical insurance is given to seniors (Medicare?)
Anyhoo, for some seniors, independence is so very important to their self worth. I'm sure your family can come up with a creative solution that will give everyone a peace of mind.
Praying for ya'll
Love your post Tonya! I could hear your voice and I know exactly how you feel because they are my grandparents too. God has a plan for this too.
your susa
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